If you are pregnant and scared, or if you have chosen adoption for your child, of if you just need someone to talk to, who has been where you are now, please feel free to contact me.

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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tears at Wal-Mart

Before we got married, I explained to Rick that I wanted a child.  At first he wasn't really into the idea, but I told him that one day I would be a mother, and that we couldn't go on with our relationship if he didn't want any more children.  Eventually he said alright, but I could tell that his heart wasn't really into it.

About a year into our marriage, Rick came around and decided that he really wanted a baby with me and that we should start trying.  I was scared.  I knew that I would have to go off all my medications as not to hurt the baby, and my chances of conception and carrying a baby full term were slim, but I wanted a baby and thought about it.  The more I thought about it the more frightened I got which made me not want to get pregnant.  After time, I realized that becoming a mom was too important to me, and no matter what the ill effects going off my meds would do, it was worth it, but I still hesitated.

One day I was shopping at Wal-Mart and walked past the baby section.  I saw all the tiny little clothes and diapers and bottles and burst into tears.  I needed a baby, and I needed one now.  I finally just walked out of the store without getting what I needed and went home and cried.  I really needed a baby.

Luckily, I had a doctor appointment that afternoon.  My mom always went with me and without even discussing it with Rick, I blurted it out to mom that I was going to talk to Dr. Rana about having a baby. She was so excited.

At the doctor's office I explained that we wanted a baby and asked what I would have to do so that it would be a safe pregnancy.  She told me how to step-down my medications over the next 6 weeks and that I should come back in 2 months for a follow-up.  I followed her instructions over the next two months, and although the pain was horrible, and my mobility was suffering, I knew that a baby was worth it, so I endured.

After 2 months I went back and the doctor told me that we could start trying as soon as we liked.  She gave me a huge hug and told me to stay in touch in case things started going south and I needed help.  After the appointment I went home looked at my calendar and counted ahead and realized that I was more than likely ovulating...Today!!! 

We tried that night, and I got pregnant.

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