The Smell of Desperation

If you ask Yanni, he felt that I was too needy, and I may have been, in fact I'm pretty sure that I was, but if you smell desperation, you run quickly, don't draw it out.  We were together for over two years.  He took me to a jewelry store to look at engagement rings.  How could he?  Seriously?  I know that I was not in a healthy place then and still needed time to get myself together, but a little honestly on his part would have been nice.  Up until that fateful night, he assured me that he was coming to San Antonio.  In fact, he had me looking at houses here for us.  

Still to this day I don't understand the game that he was playing.  It really hurt.  That was cruel.  When it was over, I asked him to send somthing of mine back to me, and he told me that he had spent way too much money on me already.  Ouch!  Now, with time and reflection, I can see that with him it was all the bottom line.  Money.  He is still single.  My sister and brother-in-law still see him from time to time and apparently he just broke up with a wonderful women after almost two years together.  She wanted to get married, and he just isn't ready.  Sound familiar?  

I see his mother occasionally when I visit Pensacola and have even seen him a couple of times.  His mother and I talk and she looks at my sweet Olivia and I can see the hurt in her eyes, that she isn't a grandma yet.

In the end, breaking up was what was best, because I can't compete with money.  Apparently it keeps him very happy and if that is what he wants, then more power to him.  I loved him, and I do want him to find happiness with someone, but I am afraid that he will grow old alone, and that saddens me.