It had been a few days since Ryan went home with R. and J. and I was doing fairly well. I was content with the choice I made and despite the fact that my supposed friend Tina, who said that she supported me throughout my pregnancy, gave me a horrible time when it came time for him to go with his new parents. I guess that she assumed that I would somehow change my mind and decide to parent, and when I didn't, I was a horrible person. Needless to say, I cut her out of my life and I am so glad that she is gone. I really didn't need that type of negativity in my life. I know that I made mistakes, but I tried to do the right thing. Apparently she never made a mistake in her life and therefor can judge those of us who do.
It would be 6 months until the finalization of the adoption, but R. and J. promised to send pictures of Ryan every month.
I was doing ok, or so I thought. Then one day I just lost it. Literally, lost it. I started sobbing and sobbing and went completely out of my mind for an entire weekend. That was really the only time that I really questioned my decision for adoption.
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