Peace and quiet

Florida was just a a tired soul needed. Days just hanging out and getting some sun at some of the worlds most beautiful beaches. We went tubing and drank a hurricane at the place that invented the hurricane. We went out and watched Greg's band, and danced and just had a blast. It was wonderful, but like everything else, vacations have to end eventually. After 2 glorious weeks in Pensacola, it was time to come home, back to reality, back to my totally messed up life. You can only escape from yourself for so long before you have to deal with all the messes you made.

Each mile that we drove closer to San Antonio, my heart grew heavier and my feeling of worthlessness started coming back. I know now that I wasn't worthless, but then, that is all I felt. I had messed my life up so much and I didn't know what to do or where to go. I say that I messed my life up, I don't blame anyone else. I made bad choices, I didn't leave when things started going bad. I don't blame any of this on anyone but me, because I only had control of me at that time, and I should have done things way differently. Strangely, I still don't blame Ray for any of this, I should have ran sooner. He was what he was, and it chose to put up with it.